I work across the street from Snow Park in Oakland, and since the weather has been pleasant, this 4.2 acre park has been getting a lot of action, thus providing me with hours of entertainment. If people watching was a profession I would be at the top of my game. Added Bonus: It’s in Oakland.
As an introduction to the Tales From the Park, here is a brief overview of the daily cast of characters:
The Boot-Camp: I’ve come to think of the boot camp as a “Chuck Norris Air Punch/Round House Kick Training” meets “D-Quans Dance Moves” workout. The two instructors set up a table and cones every morning and afternoon and sometimes 1 or 2 people will show up to run around, punch the air, kick some mat and look like a complete jackass (I’m not knocking the workout, I would just rather look like a jackass indoors and not while I’m being watched by office buildings full of people). There are, unfortunately, a lot of days these guys will set up and no one comes to workout.
The Private School Kids (I think you have to be Asian to attend): This office has come to the conclusion that the workout regiment the school has these kids on is “Guantanamo Bay Training.” The school is about 10 blocks away from the park and apparently does not have a playground, although, judging by their PE routine, I don’t think the school promotes “play” or “fun” time. First, the kids will run around the park 3 or 4 times with their hands on top of their heads (yes, like prisoner of war style), then they do pushup/situps/etc. and at no point in time do any of them look like they are having fun. They never play kickball or any other kind or organized team game (like the fun Charter School kids) and they are always so militant looking in their uniforms. I would imagine that this “PE” would be more of a punishment than a reward.
The Random Assortment of Homeless Guys: This bunch provides me with the most entertainment because you never know what they are going to do. From puking in the garbage can to peeing on a tree, these guys sure keep you on your toes. Often, when I look out of the window and I see one in the midst of some random homeless person act, I am either quickly repulsed or brought to laughter.
Shady Drug Dealers: Yesterday one was wearing a top hat, an army jacket, holding a briefcase, standing under a tree, staring at his cell phone. Yes, he was shady and yes, he was probably making a deal. I am just reporting the facts.
Puffy Yellow Jacket Golfer Guy: His name is pretty self-explanatory. The park has a “mini-green” and he chips daily, in the same outfit.
The obnoxious dog owners who let their dogs run around without a leash: No, it’s not also a dog park, I checked. And I would like to send a special thank you out to the dog who ate my sandwich and the owner who did nothing about it.
As an introduction to the Tales From the Park, here is a brief overview of the daily cast of characters:
The Boot-Camp: I’ve come to think of the boot camp as a “Chuck Norris Air Punch/Round House Kick Training” meets “D-Quans Dance Moves” workout. The two instructors set up a table and cones every morning and afternoon and sometimes 1 or 2 people will show up to run around, punch the air, kick some mat and look like a complete jackass (I’m not knocking the workout, I would just rather look like a jackass indoors and not while I’m being watched by office buildings full of people). There are, unfortunately, a lot of days these guys will set up and no one comes to workout.
The Private School Kids (I think you have to be Asian to attend): This office has come to the conclusion that the workout regiment the school has these kids on is “Guantanamo Bay Training.” The school is about 10 blocks away from the park and apparently does not have a playground, although, judging by their PE routine, I don’t think the school promotes “play” or “fun” time. First, the kids will run around the park 3 or 4 times with their hands on top of their heads (yes, like prisoner of war style), then they do pushup/situps/etc. and at no point in time do any of them look like they are having fun. They never play kickball or any other kind or organized team game (like the fun Charter School kids) and they are always so militant looking in their uniforms. I would imagine that this “PE” would be more of a punishment than a reward.
The Random Assortment of Homeless Guys: This bunch provides me with the most entertainment because you never know what they are going to do. From puking in the garbage can to peeing on a tree, these guys sure keep you on your toes. Often, when I look out of the window and I see one in the midst of some random homeless person act, I am either quickly repulsed or brought to laughter.
Shady Drug Dealers: Yesterday one was wearing a top hat, an army jacket, holding a briefcase, standing under a tree, staring at his cell phone. Yes, he was shady and yes, he was probably making a deal. I am just reporting the facts.
Puffy Yellow Jacket Golfer Guy: His name is pretty self-explanatory. The park has a “mini-green” and he chips daily, in the same outfit.
The obnoxious dog owners who let their dogs run around without a leash: No, it’s not also a dog park, I checked. And I would like to send a special thank you out to the dog who ate my sandwich and the owner who did nothing about it.
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